Joep Beving

Solipsism

When I was a little boy, my parents had an old white piano in the living room. I would sneak downstairs early mornings and climb on the piano stool, trying to make sense of it. A big wooden cupboard with a shimmering mouthful of black and white teeth, smiling at me. I loved how the combination of two or three keys would instantly make the sound change its colour, its mood. The endless possibilities were overwhelming at the time and still are to me now. What a marvel to have a mechanical machine in your house, one that allows you to speak in the language of feelings as I discovered much later.

I was never really keen on reading sheet music while playing. Somehow I didn’t have the patience to look at the paper and decipher the code. I much rather improvised. Have a conversation. It led me on to the path to jazz. The freedom to meander the ivory landscape and basically get lost. I loved it. But my talent was limited and I kept on hitting the wall of my capabilities. Circling around familiar territory for years. I started to realize that my playing didn’t really have an effect on me. My conversations turned more and more superficial, mere chatter that filled the room but didn’t really change it. I slowly started to leave out notes I deemed unnecessary. Stripping down in the search for something more essential and hopefully meaningful.

It was only much later in 2014, that the music started to present itself to me. I guess it was always there but waiting for me to be ready. That moment came when I turned to the piano to find something to hold on to. Something that would comfort me and that could reconnect me with the world around me. A version of reality I could trust. Something inwards not outwards. I remember a moment when I felt all rational involvement with what I was doing had completely disappeared. All doubt and fear had miraculously vaporized and I had no other option than to accept and embrace the music that now has become such an important part of my life. Little did I know that this would resonate with the times and that some years later I would have the opportunity to share this music with the rest of the world.

I hope you will enjoy the music. It is as much yours as it is mine. Much love,
Joep